My crush and I go to the same church so we see a lot of each other. Usually, he would walk me to my car, hold doors open for me and hug me for no apparent reason. One day, one of the older men saw his arm around my shoulders and he started teasing my crush. Every since then my crush has been ignoring me. Yesterday, I even stood next to him to see if he say hi or something, but he just looked at me and walked away. Was it something the man said or am I being paranoid?

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Answered by: Joseph, An Expert in the Dating and Sex Category
We all know older people and how they react when they see young love. Most of us just ignore them or make a small comment and carry on. What I wouldn't expect is for him to completely ignore you. That is something that you wouldn't want to have in a potential boyfriend. I do not think you're being paranoid, I feel it relates to the older man teasing him. However, I don't think that that should deter him from pursuing you, especially when he acted like a gentleman before any of this happened. There may be some insecurity with himself. Low self esteem could play a vital role in his thinking. He may think that being with you is drawing attention to the both of you, but he is the one catching the brunt of the teasing. Maybe he thought that this may also follow him home. When you're seeing/flirting with someone at church, it usually is a lot more personal than meeting out in public/going on dates. You come to church with your close family and friends. If you're seen with someone you like, then your business is put out there to everyone you are close with. I always think that talking things out will help everything in the long run. Try to catch him when he is alone. Ask him why he is ignoring you and tell him how it's making you feel. Explain to him how being around him made you feel before the older man said something too him. If he sees how happy you were that he was doing the things he was doing, it may help to open him up. There is nothing wrong with being open and honest. In fact, that is the best way to get your sure-fire answer. What do you do if he doesn't want to open up? Give him time. Guys don't like to be rushed, and the majority of them do not like to talk about their feelings. To some men, talking about their feelings may make them seem weak to others, which would hurt the self esteem problem even worse (if that is the case.) I hope that everything I have said will help you figure this situation out. People are not always complicated, more often times it is the situation that is complicated. I wish you the best and if you need anymore help, you know where to find me.



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