Does staying positive at home depend on how you think of things?

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Answered by: William, An Expert in the Be Happy Category
Staying positive at home can be a difficult task when dealing with problems of growing up. Oftentimes, it seems like no matter how hard we try to stay positive, we may end up having situations that we feel are not fair or are unsure of how to deal with them.

Luckily, it has a lot more to do with how you think of things rather than what is actually happening.

Take for example a situation in which your parents are arguing. This could be a very hard situation to stay positive in as there is a lot of tension or yelling happening. Some thoughts that may come into your head include, "Why do they always have to argue? Or why is my family like this? What can I do to get them to stop? Why me?"

These thoughts can often be correct, but don't actually help to keeping you positive. The best way to stay positive in this situation is likely to change your way of thinking of things.

Take for example, when you're working on a difficult math problem. If you hate math, working on the problem will quickly become frustrating, and it will then be hard to stay positive about finding a solution. However, if you liked working on math, it would be easier to work through the problem because you want to learn how to solve the problem. The solution to the problem becomes more important than the time it takes to figure out how to do it.

So in this situation with your parents, we can take a similar approach. It may be hard to think of ways to see the argument as something that's worth thinking about, rather than a situation to be avoided, but there are few different things that we can think to help us in keeping positive.

One of the things we can turn to is understanding. Instead of feeling bad about the argument, you can think about why they are arguing and try to understand what is going on. In this way, the argument isn't something that is terrible anymore, it's just like a math problem, something to be solved and understood.

Another example is if we were to think of our parents as having flaws. We could immediately recognize that maybe they are arguing because people aren't perfect, and if they aren't perfect then it's perfectly normal for them to be upset from time to time. In this way, we can also stay positive as we know that all people will do this from time to time.

Finally, another strategy is to think that the argument doesn't involve you and because it doesn't involve you, should not affect you in any way. This type of thinking can help you to cope with situations which you know are outside your control.

Staying positive at home can definitely be a daunting task, but by thinking differently we can stick to positivity. Oftentimes all that is required is to change the problem and the frustration of having to deal with it into something else. This process is generally called sublimination and is an effective coping mechanism in dealing with a whole bunch of problems.

Remember then, that it starts with positive thinking and is not dependent on the situation!

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