After a break up?

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Answered by: Jeanetta, An Expert in the Teenage Advice - General Category
I'm not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be. I know that I have many imperfections. However, I am aware that everyone else has imperfections as well. I want to love and be loved in the most flawless way possible. I want to give someone the best of me and not have to request the same from them. It should just be a given that whatever I give should cherished but also returned. I can't make anyone love me for who I am and what I can offer. That is solely up to them.

It is hard to love someone else when you are not fully in love with yourself. That is why I am my biggest fan. I am my best friend. I am my own lover. I am falling in love with myself more and more everyday. This will allow me to love someone else in the most selfless way possible. If I know how to love myself and I know the expectations that I have for myself then I will know exatly how to love another and just as I love me. Being in love with myself will also allow me to know what to expect from someone else. They will have to love me equally or more than I love myself, but settling for anything less will not be an option.

I will be treated with the utmost respect and honor. I will be treasured like a rare stone or jewel. No one will be able to disrespect me because I will not give anyone that power over me. I will be treated like the King or Queen that I am. These are expections, not suggestions. I will lay this out to the next potential candidate and if they are not capable of doing the things that I require, then there will be not second chances.

Although a break up can lead to heart break, it is a great opportunity for realization. After a break up many revelations come. No one wants their "perfect relationship" to be over. But when it is, that is when you have to figure out why it came to an end and what were the factors that led up to that point. After falling in love it is easy to accept things from your boyfriend/girlfriend that you wouldnt accept from anyone else.

For example, if you don't want anyone yelling at you, then dont make it ok just because it is from your boyfriend or girlfriend. The biggest mistakes that people make in a relationship is making excuses for the person that they are with. This happens because you want to hold on to them instead of letting them go. Many issues get overlooked because it is easier to just stay with someone then it is to get over them. However, you exert more energy by trying to stay in an unsuccessful relationship. It is likely that if your relationship is unsuccessful then you arent even happy.

Don't allow yourself to make excuses for someone just because you love them. After a break up, take time to really evaluate your previous relationship and also take time to fall in love with yourself so that you will be ready to love when the right person comes around. Don't hold on to all your extra baggage from past experience. Ready, get set, love!!

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