Are relationships in high school worth it?

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Answered by: Anna, An Expert in the Teenage Advice - General Category
Now that I am in college, I have found one old saying true...every good thing eventually comes to an end. This includes high school romances that are composed of two star crossed lovers who want to make their love last forever. What happens to most of these relationships? People move away, life is not the same, and they eventually grow apart and break up. Now that our society has placed a great importance on higher education, why would you want to tie yourself down to someone when you have so many opportunities?

Now, I am not saying that I think you are a terrible person if you are in a serious relationship and you are in high school, or even that all relationships that begin that while you are in high school are doomed to fail. I am just asking if teenagers are really ready to make such a serious commitment when they are so young. Are you willing to make choices based off what your significant other wants? This is why I am an advocate of no relationships in high school. You are only young once, and you will never look as great as you do now. Not even while you are in college, trust me I am there now. While you are in high school hang out with as many people as you can and go on a lot of dates. What is stopping you?

After talking to many of my girlfriends who were in long term serious relationships in high school, almost all of them have expressed that they are not the same person that they were even when they started college a year ago. Neither are the boyfriends they started college with. This has caused an end to relationships that have lasted for years, and caused an unimaginable amount of pain for both halves of the couple. The worst part of all is knowing that their relationships ended purely because they have just grown apart, no cheating, addiction, or other tragic thing has been involved. (Although, let's fact it, that sort of thing happens a lot.)

I made the decision to not commit myself to any guy in high school, and I still stand by the fact that it was the best decision for me. Maybe for other people it isn't. My suggestion is for you to date anyone you want to date, and find out what you like in a man, but make as much time for yourself. When I was in high school, I traveled all to Europe, Central America, and the Caribbean with friends, a chance I might not have again. Because I had made so much time for myself and what I wanted in high school, I knew who I was when I started college and I was ready for a relationship. I am happy to say that I have now been with the same guy for almost two years,and while he isn't perfect, he is perfect for me.

So ladies, my advice for you is find out who you are, what you want, then commit yourself to someone else. If you know that in high school, well you're one step ahead of most of us, lucky you! If you are not entirely sure like I was, make a lot of time for yourself and find out those things. The worst thing you could ever do is try to love someone else before you fully love yourself.

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