What is love, and how do you know you love someone?

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Answered by: Janie, An Expert in the Teenage Advice - General Category
To be honest, there are many different forms of "love." You can love someone on a friendly level, or you can pass that up and love them on a romantic level. Either way, you must care a lot about that person. I'd say you know for a fact you know you love someone if they are on your mind 24/7. Love can be complicated, and not always up to your expectations. You expect it to be easy, sort of like a fairytale, but I can promise you it's quite the opposite. You can't expect so much otherwise you'll feel utterly disappointed when things don't go your way. You can't expect things, and you can't plan them. Love won't always be sunshine and roses. There will be fights, there will be arguments. Love isn't about saying cute things and being lovey-dovey all the time. It's right after a long argument that drains the life out of both of you, and getting over it the next day. Love is about forgiveness. Love is about acceptance. They won't always say or do the right thing, or know exactly how you feel at all times, but you love them anyway. Thing's won't always be alright, but you have to have faith and trust in the person that you both will make it through. You have to keep pushing forward no matter what. They might not make you happy every moment of the day, but if they're trying then that's all you can ask for. And all you can do in return is try. Without an equal amount of effort from the two of you, it will never work out. You have to constantly work at it until you get it right. There may be ups and downs but you have to remember what you're fighting for. Love isn't always agreeable, it's not easy and it's not certain. It's probably the most terrifying thing for most people, but just remember you're not the only one involved. You're not the only one with feelings. You give your all, put your heart & soul into someone else's hands, and leave yourself completely at their disposal. That's when you know you love someone, & it's enough to shake every nerve in your body. But that's what love does. It's not about feeling safe and secure; it's about scaring the shit out of yourself but pushing forward anyway, because you know it's worth it. Having someone to love and hold, to make you feel 'whole' and not alone, is worth every damn argument ever to be had. You have to realize and keep that in mind. That love pushes boundaries and crosses every line you weren't meant to cross. It makes reality invisible and no one around you can understand why you do the things you do, for something that can cause you so much pain. Because you know after all the fighting, tears, and uncertainty, it's all worth it. Just having someone there. The right person that you can honestly say you love, and love's you in return.

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