Who do you turn to when no one understands what you're going through?

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Answered by: Dave, An Expert in the Teenage Advice - General Category
"No one understands" is a phrase that at least once during the course of an average teen's life, they will utter. During this period in their lives', they may feel ignored, unappreciated and/or misunderstood by family, friends or anyone they are in contact with, hence the advent of the phrase.

Family, peer pressure, social anxiety, school and media are a few examples that put stress on teens and at times, prompts them to internalize what may be easily solved by taking that phrase and turning it into the question "Who do you turn to when no one understands what you're going through?". However, if a teen feels that no one understands, it strengthens their instincts to keep things inside as opposed to trusting someone enough to ask the question.

Trust becomes a factor when teens are trapped by the mindset when they truly believe no one understands and there's no one they can turn to who does understand. Finding someone they trust enough to ask the question "Who do you turn to when no one understands what you're going through ?" could be part of a journey, just as frustrating as the feeling that no one shares your plight.

As adults, we know there is no single, all-knowing person that every teen should seek counsel with. Teens trying to find their way, may find that seeking the person to answer the question "Who do you turn to ... ?" could be a journey involving few or many people. Though they are looking for relief of sorts, it is merely not a search of the answer, but of a person they feel at ease with enough to open up, once again - someone they trust.

There was a time not too long ago, when children were encouraged to trust teachers, priests and figures of law enforcement, for example. However, in this day and age, it has become increasingly difficult to pass that mentality of yesteryear onto the youth in today's world. This is the same with many aspects of life, including teen angst. Parents and teachers don't have all the answers and at times, their "by-the-book" answers and solutions cause even more stress to a teen's situation if their perception differs. This can result in a number of reactions from a teen including verbal outbursts, anger, disgust or silence, to name a few. It will in turn, support their feeling that "no one understands" and additional questions regarding the lack of trust in others and more importantly, who exactly can they turn to that understands.

It isn't until years later that teens will reflect on wasted time as they carried the phrase "No one understands" instead of chasing the answer to "Who do you turn to when no one understands what you're going through ?". And even years into adulthood, whichever path is chosen often raises more questions communication, self worth and trust issues. Guidance is just as crucial for teens as it is for the earlier, formative years whether it comes from family, friends or acquaintances.

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